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For some reason, I never thought of how heteronormative traditional speed dating is: That was one of the first things we realized during the pre-event process: The night of Adam: Without being sure what to expect, I was definitely nervous prior to the event.
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Ironically, choosing an outfit felt like the easiest part of the exercise for me: The event offered little in terms of dress code, though, so we had to figure that ourselves. My day before speed dating was pretty normal — I worked out, had brunch with my sister and then wandered around looking for something new to wear, unsuccessfully. I think I tried on at least three different outfits before choosing a black sweater, skirt and booties.
I was glad Adam and I were in it together, though, because I started feeling a little anxious about the night.
Speed dating took place upstairs, so there were regular folks downstairs drinking and eating when I walked in. A woman explained how the night would work and Adam and I chatted at the bar while we waited for it to fill up.
I sat down and waited for all the men to make their way from table to table. I wrote down mini descriptions next to their names on my Date-Mate Scorecard to help me remember them: Mark, black coat, bank. Javier, brain cancer researcher.
I now had to choose my top five picks of the night. I was surprised and happy to see a crowd of decent diversity, the time went much quicker in practice than in theory, and it was refreshing to chat with people whom I might otherwise not approach or contact. And, while apparently most of my male counterparts had attended speed-dating before, I had not, putting me in the minority of the men there, according to the women I spoke with throughout the evening.
For whatever reason, being a rookie seemed to play better than being a veteran.