Don’t let power struggles ruin your relationship - Times of India
While this dominance may work between some couples, in others, it is the cause of power struggles. According to relationship expert Mimrah. Understand these relationship stages you will know what to expect in the couple's journey The Romance Stage; The Power Struggle Stage; The Stability Stage; The . Adapted from the book The Couple's Journey: Intimacy as a Path to take action to improve your important areas in life such as dating & relationships. The Importance of the Power Struggle in Relationships So, take a close look at your relationship and see if you recognize any of these.
Form boundaries around vulnerable conversation that eradicate judgment and abuses of power. Abuse of power can occur if you see your partner as more of an object than a person. Depersonalization is a form of emotional distancing and may be triggered by feelings of powerlessness or being taken advantage of. Try to identify your vulnerabilities and approach the conversation in an open, calm manner.
Communicate directly about your vulnerabilities and requests for change. If you find yourself feeling powerless or overburdened, you need to communicate your discomfort with your partner.
The Importance of the Power Struggle in Relationships - Exploring your mind
The most effective way to do this is to identify the vulnerability being triggered in you so that your partner clearly understands where you are coming from. This may be the fear of rejection or the fear of not being good enough. As with any serious conversation in an intimate relationship, it is important to remember that a different perspective is not a wrong perspective.
If your partner comes to you expressing his or her feelings of fear or insecurity, it is not your place to defend your position or tell your partner that he or she should not feel that way. Work with your partner to create a more harmonious balance of power. Forgive and move forward from previously addressed hurts.
How To Overcome The Power Struggle Stage In Your Relationship
But that it's about HOW you fight, how you struggle to find that common ground to develop and grow within the relationship. It's a lot like self-awareness: The same goes for your relationship. Here are my key learnings about power struggles in a relationship: Understand that the honeymoon phase will end. Perhaps not with my still-smitten luncheon colleague: His quirks you once found cute now drive you up the wall.
The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever; we all wear "rose-coloured glasses" in the beginning. The actual duration differs depending on who you ask, but we could generally agree that this period of bliss lasts one to two years. Some people say shorter, some say longer; some even say you can predict how quickly it will end.
It's almost like the beginning of a relationship is all chemical -- all about your heart -- and the rest of it is about your head.
Because that's when we start to see things more clearly, and if we know the honeymoon phase will end we can anticipate this clarity will come.
This helps us stay realistic. Recognize the difference between healthy power struggles and unhealthy controlling behaviour.
What does it mean to have power struggles in a relationship? They can be anything from letting your spouse get his way about watching sports every night to more important things like control issues in a relationship.
An example of this is a jealous partner: But as time passes, jealousy can be extremely destructive to a relationship. It is the opposite of trust. This type of behaviour can create an unhealthy power struggle -- a very serious one at that. And, believe it or not, some minor power struggles like, "Don't look at your smartphone during dinner, please", can turn into a HUGE issue when that is someone's way of controlling you.
It's important to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviourbecause when it all boils down, we are grownups and we can choose if we want to live our lives with or without someone telling us what to do. Create a relationship "contract. This is actually a very important phase in a relationship because it's where you create your relationship "contract.
Therapists say that we all have a relationship contract and the reality is, once it is set in place, it's not so simple to erase it; to change it, you actually may need to break up. You have about a year to write it -- figuratively speaking, of course. I find this to be a great analogy of relationship building, and when you think of it as a contract, you're more likely to take seriously the choices you make or the actions you take. Power should be equal.
What happens if one person isn't pulling their weight, whether that means not doing the chores or being lazy or not making an effort romantically? Is it ever okay for one person to try to change the other, if they do it with good intentions?