List of Fonejacker episodes - Wikipedia
Fonejacker Fonejacker is a British comedy programme broadcast on E4 is not seen as the Fonejacker, he appears during Mr Doovdé's calls as a model . is an Indian man who works in a call centre in India for Internet Service Providings, .. an incorrigible phone prankster, and recordings of his hijinks, dating from the. The following is an episode list for the E4 series Fonejacker. The series premiered on Comedy Mr Doovdé asking for a phone number for "Duhfs" and phoning a shop about repairing Voocrés. Mr Broadbandings persuading a man to join Internet Service Providings, his overly priced ISP service which is 42 " megabytings". A guide to the mina characters in TV, including The Fonejacker, The sketches featuring Mr Doovdé are based around phone calls he makes to This man is an enthusiastic Indian call centre employee who works for Internet Service Providings. In series two he has switched to trying to get people to join the #4 dating.
Criminal Dave calling for a minicab to pick him up at a bank, whilst an alarm bell is ringing in the background and Dave is shouting at hostages. Every time he reminds the man of the prize money, he plays a tape playing a jingle in which the soundsystem blows up on the third attempt. The man is seen to the audience, as someone who has been living on an island for many years due to a plane crash. Mr Broadbandings offering a man internet "providings". The man asks Mr Broadbandings to repeat his script twice because he likes it, but then the man complains about his Indian accent and poor usage of English.
He is later put through to the manager to complain in which he argues with him about the script used to sell the "providings". The man tells the manager that the customer is always right, but the manager says the customer is talking "bloody bollocks", and later sarcastically suggests that if he thinks he's now a script writer, he should come to Bollywood to write their scripts.
The man says he doesn't want to switch his providings, he wants to switch his provider, but the manager says he can only switch his providings. Brian calling a restaurant to book a table at a restaurant, only to have his unusual speech impediment pop up when he is trying to book it.
A circus act called Vishka Vishkovsky calling a circus agency about his dancing bear act. A man calling a fishmonger because his wife complained that the fish he bought was a goldfish. Recruitment Services Limited" asking a man about his love life to which the man says, "This is a Sunday night! Do you you think I'm silly? He gives a very long direct number to Zimbabwe which reads Horace also notably repeats his name and department many times during the call.
George Agdgdgwngo calling from British Gas saying he overcharged a man by 36, Ugandan Dollars. George offers to pay the man back as long as he gives his bank details before the man declines. A hospitalised man on a breathing machine calling a company for life insurance, only to die during the call. T Communications PLC" asking about a woman's love life. Donald calling the front desk of his company to invite the man up to his office to have champagne and "fuck like rabbits".
The Mouse calling a cheese shop asking about what cheese they sell whilst hiding in a pot of Vaseline, only to be turned on and have orgasms from the names of cheese. The Mouse then sets himself on fire after attempting to light a cigarette. A man who has redialled the Fonejacker after being fonejacked by George. He is put through to Terry Tibbs who accuses him of trying to ring George back to give his bank details.
Terry then offers the man a car. The man is actually from Essex, UK, and reports his mobile number was taken from MySpace and used for the show. The man declines despite the fact that Mr Broadbandings claims it is better than Sky Digital as the channels are not good, compared to the four channels that Mr Broadbandings is offering, them being two sports channelsings, the free movie a month, and Mr Miggins calling a tabloid newspaper claiming to have had a balloon ride with Cary Grant in the s.
The man refuses to take the story on, after asking why he waited all these years to tell a newspaper. Brian calling a property developer asking to buy a bungalow, only to completely confuse the salesman with his strange speech impediment.
George Agdgdgwngo calling a woman from her bank. He asks her to answer a security question, which is "What is the day? Her answer was Monday, after almost saying Thursday and Tuesday. George is forced to terminate the call as he takes her first answer, being Thursday, which is incorrect. Surprising, it is revealed that the man received a call from George Agdgdgwngo the previous day being told he won 1, Ugandan Dollars, with the offer to sell George his passport.
The man recognises the voice of George Agdgdgwngo and is informed that Horace will be in touch. Before this the man says its number four only for Horace to play number two with that being Terry Tibbs, the man then says that's not the one, before on the second attempt Horace correctly plays Georges voice.
Terry Tibbs enquiring about a brass sculpture. The lady he is talking to is not selling the sculpture and only put the advert up, Terry then asks if she's taking 20 percent of the takings from the buyer, only for her to say she isn't then Terry asks if she's taking 10, with her also denying this, in reply Terry says "You're doing this all wrong!
Later on the lady says she'll get back to him after speaking to the artist who is selling the sculpture, but Terry says "You don't get back to Terry Tibbs, Terry Tibbs gets back to you! At the end of the call Terry says "Love ya!
Fonejacker calls a mobile phone supposedly belonging to a waiter that has been left in a street cleaner's dustcart. Street cleaner picks up and Fonejacker pretends to be restaurant boss and asks why he is late for work.
Stanley ringing a model shop, enquiring about Hornby figures. Starting off with train drivers, he also asks if they do "the depressed man who steps in front of a twain", "the two homeless men drinking lager in the carriages who you hope get off at the next station but never do", "the gypsies playing the accordion and getting into a fight with the passengers" and "the old man who misses the red light at a level crossing and gets hit by the twain".
Dufrais Constantinople ringing about having an electric fence installed to "keep out his neighbours". Fonejacker calls a butcher's shop enquiring about prices of various products, and pretending to be interrupted by another call, makes customer announcements over a megaphone about the lower prices at Morrisons for those products.
It is revealed in this segment that the leader of the gang is called Charlie Wong. Barry Childs trying to book a magic act. Initially the act sounds keen and says he is free on the proposed date, until he learns that his close contact magic will be likely to provoke a violent response from the offenders, and that several previous bookings including clown were assaulted, after which the act politely declines while Barry says he "has already printed the posters" so he has to come, but still declines.
Fonejacker TV Phone-in competition. Competition entrants have no chance of winning anything. This is a possible reference to ITV Play late-night call-in shows where very little people actually get through to the show. At peak times callers had a 1 in chance of getting through to the studio to play but were still charged regardless "Just dial this number, pay this price and get fuck all!
Get used to it! He wishes to go to JufkLaks and Duhk with Bah. Terry Tibbs talking to a young lady enquiring about a paddling pool for sale. This is the first time in Fonejacker history Terry makes a call outside of his used cars office, but is instead on a golf course making the call inside a buggy based on a Rolls Royce.
The series 2 tailer shows Terry Tibbs saying "surprise!
List of Fonejacker episodes | Revolvy
In the call itself Terry asks questions such as if the pool has a motif on it, before suggesting the lady's "Useless husband" is too lazy to install it as the reasons for its sale. He later asks her if she can cook because he can "do with the company", before saying his own wife "Can't cook for fucking shit".
The lady can't go below 25, so ends the call with his "Goodbye and much love! Ja Fool calls a restaurant to book a table by rapping. Rodriguez the Cuban head louse calls a school to ask if he and his family can visit, as long as there is no school nurse.
Dufrais Constantinople calls a private investigator to complain he is being investigated. They are on to him and he is on to them in his mind. Mr Broadbandings from "Internet Relationship Providings" calls an elderly man with his special offerings. The man qualifies for an overs discount. When the man says he is not interested in the end, Mr Broadbandings goes back to the usual Internet Service Providing script, after saying he likes Angelina Jolieand that his dream would be to "call her in the middle of the night" and show her his "offerings".
In the fantasy, her real-life partner Brad Pitt is seen answering the phone. Brian Bedonde calls a theatre box office to buy tickets, only for his unusual speech impediment to make it difficult for the man at the box office to understand his post code.
Mendoza calls to book a function room to hold an orgy, but finds the evening he wants is double booked with a bingo night. The automated service finally "understands" the correct commands, only for the messages spoken to the caller to change speeds from high-pitched to low-pitch, which leads the caller to ask if its a joke. He says he is, but Mr Broadbandings still urges him to join up, asking him if he wants " a bit on the sidings " - only for the man to threaten to report him to Trading Standardswhich influences Mr Broadbandings to offer him a free gift.
The man stops his car before the threat, only to be towed away for illegal parking. The man he is talking to informs him they are illegal to sell on the market due to being a registered trademark, to which the Chinese man says he can sell them on the Internet. The Fonejacker phones a florist, but uses a CD in an electrical shop which plays battleground effects, so it sounds like he's telephoning from the Afghanistan war. Jimmy Jon is given a call back from a man he telephoned earlier in the day, only to miss the call.
When he gets back to him he tells him he is interested in buying a bed he has for sale, only to make sexual references informing the caller what he wants to do with the bed. Terry Tibbs telephones a funeral director, asking for a small coffin for his wife's dog.
The lady he is talking to gets stunned, with Terry asking her if its "A monologue or a twosome? As he talks about having to pay for "another pooch", and how they'll say goodbye, she starts to crack up laughing. With this, Terry tells her to get a grip on herself, otherwise he'll "Bury the bluddy thing" himself.
Fonejacker | Revolvy
He sings " The Girl from Ipanema " to her using nonsense lyrics. After inviting her workmates to listen to him, she says she cannot recognise the song and puts him through to the bar. A young Liverpudlian inmate named Stevie telephones for a job to be an au paironly for the woman to refuse him due to his "guv" asking if he said to her what he's in jail for.
The inmate has a tattoo reading " Acckrington Stanley ". The Mouse telephoning a locksmith to free him from a cage in London Zoowhich has a digital timer at the top, in which when it reaches zero, a hatch below him opens and then gets fed to the snakes. He informs the locksmith some of his family have died due to the same reason, only to fall into the snake pit himself while still on the phone.
The singer Mika is shown as the zoo keeper in charge of the killings, who named the mouse "lunch". He later plays the sound heard on a supermarket tannoy, claiming he composed that also alongside a soundtrack for a murder scene in a Polish film, and the "fasten seatbelt" sound on Polish Airlines.
An Iraqi man phoning the British Army in an attempt to join them, but is told Iraq is not a commonwealth country. The Fonejacker phoning a mobile phone left in a clothes shop, and claims to the man who finds it, that he is after a girl called Olga, only to start arguing with the man threatening to "put my foot in your arse". George Agdgdgwngo phoning a woman, saying he's from ITV and claims that her phone has made many calls totallingpounds, to phone vote lines involved in the ITV voting scam.
He tries to get her bank details to send the "Rebate Cheque", and then starts making a speech about how important ITV is while playing Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau as a backing track on a tape player.
He then gets back to the point of the call, saying he wants to pay her the monies, and she says it's too good to be true. She creates an idea for Ant and Dec to send the money to her, George then says it can be arranged and will say hello to them for her. Mr Broadbandings calling from "Internet Relationship Providings", asking a man the usual "Are you in a relationship at the moment? He is interested in signing up, and gives details for the sort of girl he is looking for.
Mr Broadbandings then puts his descriptions in a computer which acts like a slot machineand shouts "I'm finding you datings! He says the service is free, but starts the expensive prices announcement. After a while the man's partner is heard in the background telling him to put the phone down.
Donald Donaldson phoning Francis, who is a window cleaner to book an appointment, before talking to him using sexual innuendos, and singing him a tune in the same manner. Janec phoning a neighbour from his bedsit asking for the Poland football match result, as there is no TV, the man says he is not watching it and Janec asks him to check the other channels. Janec then asks him if he and his friends could listen to it.
The man refuses as he's watching Coronation StreetJanec again asks to listen but the man refuses and tells him he is going to bed. A posh man phoning a scrap yard trying to get another man's car scrapped, as the owner has been having sex with his wife. The scrapyard owner refuses to do so as the man does not have the documents, annoyed by this he smashes the window only to set the alarm off, and get assaulted by the man who owns the car.
He later says he is trying to track down his ex-girlfriend. Stevie phoning an airport applying for a chef job. When he reveals he has a criminal recordthe man refuses saying that BAA will not issue an airside pass.
Andrew calling a police station about the appearance of a series of gang members, only to pretend that the line is faulty, so the man on the other end of the line cannot hear the descriptions properly, nor his phone number. Terry Tibbs phones a man named Anthony, from a fireworks display company, asking how long a display will last.
Anthony says it lasts for seven minutes, with Terry asking in reply if they'll be the greatest seven minutes he'll see of fireworks. He then says the display is for a celebration of his divorce, and says he is thinking of having it round his house, his wife's or his father in-law's. Anthony then asks where he lives only to reply "Well, my house! Terry then asks Anthony who the last person he spoke to was, with it being his girlfriend.
Terry then asks him what they spoke about, and tells Terry they talked about sex. Terry then asks if they whispered or spoke loud, before Anthony says they did a bit of both, and then gets back on the subject of the fireworks. After a while Terry ends the call with his "Goodnight and much love! Mr Broadbandings receiving a call from a man, who is enquiring an advert he is running selling two tickets for Dolly Parton. An example of his made up companies is "Good afternoon, sir, my name's Mike and I'm calling from 'wet look gel your crotch and make a quiff with your pubes IT recruitments limited', can I ask a few questions about your love life?
Callers are usually unsuccessful in their efforts as the service selects the incorrect properties. At the start of the conversation, the 'automated' service will usually make a 'beep' to allow the caller to speak, but towards the end of conversations, delays the beep until the person actually speaks, forcing them into repeating the same word. One person did manage to select the correct property, only to have the service malfunction totally, saying it has been rented.
This is the only time people have phoned the Fonejacker, rather than the other way around, aside from Episode Six of Series 1 where Terry Tibbs was seen to receive a phone call. The photo of the Flat Line representative is Hollywood film actor James Masonthe voice also bears a striking similarity.
The fictional service, has twice been selling tickets under the name 'Ticket Line'. First Appearance as the Flat Line: Their leader, Charlie Wong is the only member of the gang that speaks on the phone. He often says "You want buy DVD? One of the members of the gang also claimed to be a Chinese Samuel L.
He only appears if the victims Mr Broadbandings calls, request to be put through to him if they are not happy with Mr Broadbandings' actions. He is always seen in his office, in which the Taj Mahal can be seen though the window behind him. While talking to the customer, a series of adverts appear based on the company in the same way with Mr Broadbandings.
He believes that 'The customer is not right, he is talking bloody bollocks'. He is not involved in any of Mr Broadbandings' calls in Series 2. Series 1 Episode 3 Criminal Dave is a bank robber who usually has quite large serious flaws in his plans. For example, he attempts to schedule a get-away in a minicab and to arrange for a locksmith to open the bank's safe. Series 1 Episode 3 Detective Horace Von Khute is a telephone fraud prevention officer from Zimbabweand is known to ask victims questions pertaining to a previous prank call.
He speaks in a gravelly, hushed South African tone. Also, Detective Horace has an unusually long telephone number, making it hard to give and confirm that it is correct. His office uses an assortment of old, outdated equipment to track fraudsters possibly a reference to Zimbabwe's current economic crisis His most wanted criminal is George Agdgdgwngo. Series 1 Episode 5 Dufrais Constantinople is a complaining Jewish man he is sometimes pictured wearing a yarmulke who calls an electric fence company to ask if it will stop the kids from next door from kicking the ball into his garden; he also calls a P.
I and asks why he is being followed only to enter into argument, and also the Met Office about an incorrect newspaper report of the weather. He gives his name in two of his three calls, by spelling it out using words by saying "D for Donald, U for up, F for Friday, R for raspberry, A for ah, I for is and S for stratosphere", with D once being for 'Derrick'.
He always struggles to find a word starting with S, claiming his mind has gone blank. Series 2 Episode 1 Mendoza is a Russian man, who phones people who he wants to hire in order to hold an orgywhich he does not reveal at first to the "victims", until later on. He calls the orgys 'an event' beforehand, always has a drummer present, and people wearing masks.
Series 2 Episode 2 Steve a young scouse male, with a remarkable similarity to Steven Gerrardwho phones from a prison about different jobs, such as babysitting or as a chef at an airport restaurant, stating he has experience with the jobs such as caring for his drug addict sisters children and cooking in the prison kitchen. Series 2 Episode 3 Janec is a Polish man who has moved from his homeland of Poland to Glasgow in Scotland, and lives in a bedsit with his other friends also from his homeland.
Janec makes many calls applying for jobs, and once rang up a neighbour asking him to leave his phone near his TV, so they can hear it 'like a radio', as they do not have one themselves. He was commissioned to create the sound effects for a fictional Polish game show, supermarket announcement tannoys, the fasten seatbelt tone on Polish airlines and action scene music for a film, with all these played on a " Poland " keyboard. He once called a modeling agency asking to be a model.
In that episode, he refers to himself being Ukrainian, despite saying he recorded music for a Polish game show. Like Horace Von Khute, he gave out an unusually very long telephone number in one of his calls. Series 2 Episode 3 One-off Alan A man who called a rickshaw driver to pick him up from terminal 4 of Heathrow airport. Comedy Lab Pilot Man with a broken tooth style of talking name unknown is a man asking to see a dentist, but then unknown to the receptionist he asks to perform some love acts on her, but she thinks he is still making an appointment.
The Fonejacker had his mouth full whilst making this call. He calls back later in the same episode, but has problems again. Comedy Lab Pilot Welsh Man name unknown A man with a Welsh accent claiming to have lost both of his thumbs in a freak baking accident calling a mobile phone shop to enquire about the best mobile phone for him. Series 1 Episode 1 Roger Barker is a posh English man with telephone problems who attempts to buy a Bentley.
Series 1 Episode 3 BT Engineer Tarquin A BT engineer calling a book shop checking to see if their phone line is 'crackly' the Fonejacker is actually crumpling a piece of paper next to the phone.
Series 1 Episode 4 Bijan is a foreign man who is seen riding a motorbike. He called a paparazzi service whilst chasing David Beckham and offered pictures and videos of him, only to crash during the call. Series 1 Episode 4 Vishka Vishkovski is a Russian circus act whose act involves an 'amazing dancing bear on the hot coals'.
He phones up a circus agency to ask for a job, often repeating his name and act several times. Series 1 Episode 5 Hospitalised Man name unknown A hospitalised man on a breathing machine calling a company for life insurance, only to die during the call. Series 1 Episode 6 Restaurant owner A restaurant owner calling a phone that supposedly belongs to a waiter named Antonio, it is answered by a man who found it in his dustcart, the Restaurant owner asks why he is late for work.
Series 2 Episode 1 Stanley is a young boy who phoned a model shop from his school, asking the shop for " Hornby Railways " train sets and figures, some of which do not exist, for example: Series 2 Episode 1 Barry Childs is a man who is a chief executive in the 'Young Offenders Institute' trying to book a magic act.
Initially the act sounds keen until he learns that his close contact magic will be likely to provoke a violent response from the offenders, and that several previous bookings including clown were assaulted, after which the act politely declines. Series 2 Episode 1 Rodriguez A Cuban hair louse who calls a school and asks if there is a school nurse who checks the children for lice.
Series 2 Episode 2 Dan A soldier phoning a florist in order to buy some flowers. Just as he is reading out what he would like on the card the Fonejacker plays a CD of battle sound effects to make it seem like he is phoning from the Afghanistan War Appearance: Series 2 Episode 3 Jimmy Jon is a bisexual Australian man who is given a call back from a man he telephoned earlier in the day, only to miss the call.
When he gets back to him he tells him he is interested in buying a bed he has for sale, only to make sexual references informing the caller what he wants to do with the bed. Series 2 Episode 3 Steve's Guv is a man who Steve, when calling about an au pair position, passes the phone onto. He has a talk with the woman Steve was talking to, and later tells him he did not get the position.
Series 2 Episode 3 Ali is an Iraqi man phoning the British Army in an attempt to join them, but is told Iraq is not a commonwealth country. Series 2 Episode 4 Posh Man Name unknown A posh man phoning a scrap yard trying to get another man's car scrapped, as the owner has been having sex with his wife.
Series 2 Episode 4 Scottish Man Name unknown A man phoning directory enquiries requesting a telephone number to try and track down his ex-girlfriend.
Series 2 Episode 5 Andrew is a character who phoned a police office to report a criminal gang. As he tries to describe the gang members, he is very similar to Roger Barker in terms of telephone problems.