Observations of an INTJ/M, recently married to an ESFJ/F : ESFJ
This section INTJ-ESFJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. My husband is an ESFJ, and I am an INTJ female. Pardon Dating and Relationships What would an INTJ female ESFJ male romantic relationship look like?. ESFJs are warm-hearted individuals who highly value their close personal relationships. They are very service-oriented, and their own happiness is closely tied.
Conscientiousness is important to the ESFJ, and when they follow through responsibly on their promises, they expect the same from others. ESFJs dislike conflict and are motivated to resolve it quickly. They prefer stable, harmonious relationships and like a partner who is able to be loving and committed, even when the ESFJ has strong emotional reactions.
ESFJs appreciate a partner who notices their efforts to provide for their families, and commends them on a job well done. What are ESFJs like as parents? As parents, ESFJs provide clear structure and loving boundaries. They are interested in providing a safe and stable home with adequate resources, and in instilling a strong moral code and work ethic into their children.
They are extremely devoted to their children, and go to tremendous lengths to be sure they are provided for. ESFJs may become embarrassed and critical of children who do not behave as expected; they want their children to adopt and follow their own strong system of values. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.
Struggles May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry. Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so.
Sensors may find Intuitives' lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don't understand why Intuitives are always 'in their heads', pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.
Success rate of INTj and ESFj marriages?
Thinking-Feeling Joys Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler's compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self. Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions. Struggles Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
Thinkers may not understand the Feeler's desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler's behavior and deem them complicated. Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don't show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship. Judging-Judging Joys Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.
They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes. They will also appreciate their partner's ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top. They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.
Struggles Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards. Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense.
Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise. Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.