BBC - Capital - Why millions of Chinese men are staying single
One woman says she was warned by the man she was dating that she'd only A survey led by Gregory Mavrides, an American mental-health "Chinese women who date foreign men face the risk of being looked on. Single Chinese women seem to be at the fore front of this online dating movement with many of them being eager to meet foreign men especially foreign men. In his book, The Demographic Future, American political economist Nicholas “ China dating is becoming more and more open and more and more “Many eligible Chinese men want to marry younger and pretty girls.
But a recent article in Metro Shanghai, titled "Single foreign females in China don't have it easy," struck me as particularly wrong-headed.
I don't claim to be any kind of love expert, but I have managed to stay married - to a Jiangsu woman - for over seven years, and I've seen friends from the US, Canada and England marry locals. The writer, Stephanie N, makes a lot of bold claims and assumptions. I would like to take exception to the wearyingly familiar trope of the male expat, emboldened beyond any fair reckoning by the unwarranted admiration of the submissive Chinese woman.
In Western countries, men are expected to do all the approaching in dating. A woman having active desires is still somehow frowned upon.
In China things seem to be more equal. This may be because the dating window is so restricted: So Chinese women are more practical, to the point of what seems to the Western perspective hard-nosed pragmatism. They want a man, they'll approach him. So Western men find they don't have to do all the running, for once. They are no longer always supplicant. Hell, they might even have options. But this doesn't mean that they go sleeping around in a frenzy of easy one-night stands.
All of my expat male friends dated exclusively, and then married. Sure, there may be people who do hooking-up, but they'd be doing it wherever they were. Stephanie N also repeats the image of the deferential, submissive Chinese woman.
Do China’s women obsess over foreign men? - Global Times
This is somehow thought to be endemic in Asia, as though Chinese, Japanese, Filipino and Malaysian women all have the same psychology. But has she never heard of the Chinese Tiger Mom? Has she never seen the fierce competitiveness of female students? Or take some of the Chinese women of my acquaintance: None of them display the supposed submissiveness, which is more likely really a stereotype from Japan.
They are strong, smart, and easily capable of knocking back any guy they aren't interested in.
Are Chinese girls ‘easy’? And other thoughts on cross-cultural dating
Then too, Stephanie N says, "[I]t would also be interesting to watch Western men finally get a reality check and discover that most of them are hardly 'God's gift to women' and could never get this much action back in their home countries. The real question is why so few expat women and local men marry. Men in China more often marry locals because they are part of the Countless surveys, articles, cartoons and television shows depict excessively fussy women who selfishly turn up their noses at potential suitors.
The Resurgence of Gender Inequality in China. On the contrary, the rhetoric is, 'women, return to the home, stop being so ambitious and get married'. A recent study by Hong Kong-based sociologist Sandy To Sin-chi shows that these women struggle to find a lasting relationship in what is a conservative, patriarchal society. Men continue to "undermarry" in terms of education, accomplishments and age, leaving the most successful women on the shelf. To describes how this is mostly due to a culture that disparages men who aren't in breadwinning roles.
Kevin Du Kang, a marketing consultant in Shanghai concurs. I would lose my confidence and male status," he admits. Responsible for attracting more than 25, singletons to the city's annual Matchmaking Expo, Zhou accuses women of demanding too much - reminding them that the chances of finding an Andy Lau lookalike who owns his own house and car, shares all their interests and loves them unconditionally are slim.
However, some flaws are hard to overlook, my female subjects seem to suggest.
Their most common grievances are close-mindedness, insecurity and "backwards" mindsets in the men they meet. One woman says she was warned by the man she was dating that she'd only be able to spend time with her girlfriends twice a year should they marry while several others confide that the male need for status affirmation and control even finds its way into the bedroom.
Why foreign women dont date chinese men? (Hong Kong) | InterNations
A study published in Science magazine last year found that people born after the introduction of the one-child policy, inare more risk averse, less trusting and trustworthy, more pessimistic and less competitive than those born before. According to Lata Gangadharan, professor of economics at Monash University, Australia, the study suggests the effects are more marked for men.
Whatever the reason for the mainland's apparent shortage of good men, it is proving a real struggle for women who feel trapped between the societal importance of marriage and a fear of settling for someone they have little in common with. Consequently, many women are starting to look more seriously elsewhere, dating outside their ethnicity in order to increase the chances of finding a partner.
To studied 50 leftover women and found them increasingly likely to choose Western men, "who are generally believed to be more open-minded and egalitarian in terms of gender roles". Zhang Yalin, who has been a professional matchmaker for 18 years, says that she's recently noticed a trend in women hoping to find their spouses abroad, with about 30 per cent of her female clients now deciding that foreigners are the best solution.
The programme is aimed at women over 30, divorcees and leftover women, who founder Liang Yali believes stand better chances of marriage with men from countries where age and accomplishments are viewed in a more forgiving light.
Of course, the reverse can also be true.Video: Millions of single Chinese men desperately seeking a wife
The parent trap Parents are a big source of pressure to find a partner, pronto. Parents getting involved—really involved. Alamy Then there are the outdoor marriage markets. Some parents have been known to visit the market every week for years with no success. The shift in how people meet and how men woo partners, is, above all, putting a greater emphasis on love rather than on practical considerations such as financial security.
For decades, the policy restricted couples to having only one child. A long history of preference for sons led to large numbers of girls being abandoned, placed in orphanages, sex-selective abortions or even cases of female infanticide.
In China, just like the rest of the world, the universal rules of romance still apply.