5 Internet Advice Columnists Who Give Better Advice than Your Mother
Here's a list of the top 5 best advice columns from around the web to help Internet advice columnists know when to be serious and when to be funny—and most who doesn't want to take advice from someone who publishes children's specialized advice for “geeks,” such as “Captain Awkward's Dating. We share the most hilarious quotes from kids about dating. Check out a few “ Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Advice junkies Han and Matt spotlight their 28 favorite advice columns and education that she provides about unconscious anti-blackness in dating and in our .. skills and endless patience that every weird kid could have used growing up.
If your family belongs to a religious institution, is there anyone there who could advise your parents—or do you think they will simply agree with them? Are there any adults your parents really respect and trust, who might be able to offer them a different point of view? As for sleepovers and hanging out with friends, that is a different issue. If there are friends you want to have sleepovers or hangouts with, whose parents are not close to yours, ask your friends to have their parents reach out to yours so that they can get to know each other better.
At some point, you and your parents will have to have a serious discussion about how you can grow up in the age of electronic communication. As you grow older, you will want to be more independent and keep your loving relationship with your parents. This will require compromise on both sides. Plus, the older you get, the more important good friendships will be.
Your friends will want to know they can be in touch with you by text or other social media and that what they say is confidential. They will not want your parents reporting to their parents. Top of Page — July 1, — I really want to get contacts but my parents just say no. The answer is almost always at any age, mostly 8 and up. Even after telling my parents this they say no.
They say that the eye doctors in Hong Kong, China think that it is best to wear contacts when your eyes are fully developed. While online information can be helpful, what you find is general advice that may not apply in any individual case.
In the meantime, make sure you protect your eyes while playing sports—with special eyeglasses. When you do get permission from your parents and doctor to wear contacts, be sure to carefully follow the instructions for keeping them clean and for how long you can wear them at one time. Top of Page — June 16, — I have a problem. My parents are from Africa so they say all the problems I deal with today are minuscule compared to the ones that they had in Africa.
I really want someone who can relate to me and help me with my preteen problems. I'd really like it to be a grown up because to me they have the best advice. What do I do? From their point of view, the serious problems they faced when they were your age makes it hard to understand what it is like for you being an year in your circumstances today.
Help them understand that you love them and realize their lives at age 11 were very different than yours, but that does not mean your problems are not serious. Keeping communication open with your parents is very important even though you are getting older and more independent from them.
If you have an immediate, serious problem you need to discuss right away, you should ask to see the school's guidance counselor or nurse as soon as possible. There may be a counseling center for youth in your community that they could refer you to if they cannot help. You do not mention the kind of preteen problems you are facing or whether you have siblings or friends you could talk with. But since you feel a grown-up can give you the best advice, let me make some suggestions.
Is there a friend of your parents or a parent of one of your friends you could trust to talk with you confidentially? Sometimes it's easier to talk with an aunt or uncle, a family friend or one of your friends' parents than it is to talk with your own parent.
If you prefer to go outside of family, consider if there is a teacher, guidance counselor or nurse in your school who you especially like and trust. Speak to them and see if they can help you or recommend someone else you can talk with.
If school does not seem like the right place to find an adult to talk with there are other adults you may be able to discuss your problems with. Are you in a club at school? If not, you could join one for instance, if your favorite subject is Science, maybe there is a Robotics or Chemistry Club you could join.
There is usually a faculty advisor for clubs, and this may be someone you can get to know and discuss your problems. There are also youth groups or sports teams in community centers that might connect you with adults who would be helpful.
If your family practices a religion, you might also seek out someone in the leadership who provides advice to members of the community. Do not give up. If none of the above options sound right to you, your family doctor could recommend someone. Keep thinking of options because being a preteen can be difficult. As you said, this is not a minuscule problem so you must get help. And figuring out how to get to the right adult now will give you useful lessons for anything that comes up in the future.
Top of Page — June 2, — I'm in grade 7 and I really like this girl in my class, but I can't get the guts to tell her that I like her. My best friend seems to also like this girl, but I can't confirm it. I really want that girl to like me instead of my best friend. I don't know what to do.
I need your help. If it turns out that the girl in your class likes your best friend, and he feels similarly towards her, try to be happy for them. Don't get in the middle of it or undermine their relationship.
It might suck if the girl you like is dating your best friend, but it's better than being a bad friend. That said, what really matters is what the girl in your class wants. Just because your friend also likes her doesn't mean anything if she's not interested in him. In other words, there's no "calling dibs" on her or anyone else —she can make her own decision.
So the best advice I can give is to just go for it and tell her you like her. She might not feel the same, and it might hurt, and she might even not be very nice about it, which can add embarrassment as well but if that's the case, she may not have been the right girl for you anywaybut you'll never know how she feels until you tell her how you feel.
And whether she likes you or your best friend or neither of you, it's good to know how she's feeling so you can move forward with her or move on from her rather than being stuck wondering what she thinks. Top of Page — May 20, — I'm about to graduate grade 6 and I'm really nervous for high school. I'm not going to see my best friends anymore since I'm going into a special program and that means extra harder work.
I wanted to play a sport next year, but with all the homework and projects I'll have I will be too tired and won't have the time to do so. It's going to be a lot different next year, but I don't want it to be.
I want to see my best friends everyday and I don't want my school life to change. I would just like some advice on how to be more prepared and less nervous for next year. Use those skills to figure out how you can maintain your friendships. While you might not be able to see your old friends every day, you can create a schedule that will allow you to get together with them pretty often.
And you can always communicate with them regularly by text or Skype. In terms of playing a sport, that may be one of the ways you can maintain contact with your old friends who are interested in the same sport you are.
You will probably find yourself getting close to them as time goes on. Top of Page — May 5, — My school was in the news recently. It had to with school safety, but now people in my school are saying that now our school is going to get attacked.
At first I didn't care. Then I found out some people had not come to school that day because of it. That made me a little scared. Now I am a little worried. My parents tell me everything is fine. I am still worried. When I try to talk to people about it for reassurance they always say it is true. I really just don't know what to think. However, school is generally a very safe place, and whatever led to your school being written about in the news, the situation most likely has already been taken care of.
You might get together with other students, and perhaps a group of parents and teachers, to discuss additional safety measures that can be taken at your school, and become part of the solution.
Top of Page — April 21, — I live in a two story house and I get food to eat everyday, I have clothes on my back and I'm pretty smart yet I'm jealous of my Best Friend let's call her B. B has parents who understand her, she gets straight A's and has the cutest clothes ever. All the boys like her and she never has to try for anything. She always makes me feel like I'm in her shadow. And I'm probably a bad friend for saying this but sometimes I hate her because of all of her good luck.
I want to be her friend but all her good fortune makes me sick. I want to still be her friend yet sometimes I want to just scream and yell at her. Is this normal for me to feel this way?
But give B a bit more credit. Consider that you are the only one responsible for how you feel, not her. B must see positive qualities in you that you do not recognize. Work on appreciating who you are and what you have, including a friend who accepts and cares about you. Top of Page — April 8, — I started middle school this year and it hasn't been so good. Last year I was moderately popular, one of the smartest kids in my grade, good at music, art and even mildly athletic.
But now I feel like all of the kids in my classes are better than me at everything. And in addition to the already horrific amount of homework they give you I've started doing debate, working at my local museum, and gotten more serious about chorus.
Web, I am 13 years old. I have a wonderful step-dad who has taken care of me since I was born. What should I do so I can be closer to him? The best way to become closer is to spend time, talk to, and do things with him. Ask him how his day has been and offer to help when he is doing household chores.
Talk about his interests and hobbies. Ask for help in an area that he has some expertise. Update him about your life and friends. Turn off the television.
Thank him for being your dad. Ask your parents to play a board game in the evening after dinner, pop some corn, pour out sodas, and enjoy. Card games are fun too. If he is an athletic sort, perhaps all of you could take up a sport together.
Web, My best friend has gone off the deep end over a boy she met. She is fourteen and he is fifteen and they are really, really involved. He is going to steal the key and she is getting a girlfriend to lie and say she is spending the weekend at her house. They found a big kid who drives to take them there and pick them up. It is all she talks about.
Dear Wendy: It’s About to Get Personal
They will be drinking; this guy drinks a lot. All our friends think is sooo romantic. We used to talk about books and music and have fun but now she seems so shallow. She would never talk to me again. Lying, stealing, breaking in, illegal drinking, and the possibility of disease or pregnancy are serious issues. Your friend is not thinking clearly. Her mother needs to be notified. Some things are bigger than friendship.
Talk to her mother. Sometimes being a true friend involves saving someone's neck even when they put the noose on themselves. Web, I have a ten-year-old daughter who is beginning to follow rock and roll music groups and singers. I listened to one of the CDs recently and was not happy with the tunes or the lyrics. What should I do to minimize this kind of thing in our home?
Well, it is your home and you can make the rules you think your family needs. You can also keep out as much or as little of the current culture as you wish. You can permit or refuse your daughter anything the popular culture gives out, friends or no friends. However, what you need to remember is to replace what you take away with something else.
Parents of Kids
If you take away her peer group music, replace with different, more acceptable music, or interesting acceptable films. When these issues come up one should evaluate whether the peer group your daughter is involved with is one that is acceptable to you. Or just the easiest. Web, I had a call the other day from a man asking for my daughter. My daughter is fourteen. He was asking her out on a date. She agreed to meet him for coffee the next day. When she hung up I found out it was a man from the photography classes she is taking.
I asked her who he was and his age. She told me his first name and that she thought he was "in his twenties". I told her I thought twenty was too old and that she would have to cancel the date. She said she could not because she did not know how to reach him. So I told her I would go with her.
Yesterday I went to work and she met him. They had coffee and went to a matinee. What can I do? You have a problem. The kind of respect that causes her to honor your decisions even though she does not like them. You are going to need help. If you cannot keep her home at fourteen, she will be totally unmanageable at sixteen. You will need to act quickly and decisively. If her father is anywhere in the picture, pull him in, a young girl needs guidance from a caring father. In most states, statutory rape laws are still in the books.
Make sure the photographer knows you will use them. Get yourself into family counseling with someone who can help you regain and maintain your authority.
The ToughLove programs have also been very successful. Web My father kicked me out of the car yesterday and told me to walk home. He said I was talking out of line. It took me all afternoon to get home. It was almost twelve miles. It is your move. You owe him an apology. He is your father. Begin with a humble "I am sorry," and admit your error. Tell him you want to improve your relationship.
Then close your mouth and listen to his answer. Solutions are best worked out when people stop talking or thinking about what they are going to say next, and instead listen carefully. Web, My sons ages nine and twelve were discussing health issues with me the other day and my youngest asked me whether I had had sex with other men besides their father. Although my older son was not directly engaged in the conversation I could tell from his posture he was intently listening.
I ignored the question but I know it is going to come up again. The truth is that I had several sex partners before my husband. What should I do when this question comes back up? Unless the poor dears are tripping over your discarded lovers at every turn, your past belongs to you and needs no explanation. A bland statement such as "Daddy was the only man for me", or "Daddy was the first man I ever loved!
Anything questions beyond that is "getting into our sex life, which is our personal, private business". How can I convince her that there is nothing wrong with them? Most mothers are not willing to let their fifteen-year-old daughters attract that kind of attention.
Most mothers also know that modesty has its own charms. Settle on a more modest two piece suit. Web, I was planning to begin researching colleges and universities this fall as a junior. I have had a lot of luck recommending Choosing the Right College: Most people have really found it helpful. I found it informative and broad in scope.
I hope a book two evaluating the second hundred schools comes along soon. When I asked my sister, she told me if I told she would kill me. They are afraid to tell my parents. The baby comes first. Your sister, her boyfriend, his parents, and your parents have a lot to talk about. They have decisions to make about their upcoming child and grandchild.
This is a difficult and sad time for your family. Web, My daughter wants to pierce her navel and needs my permission. She is fourteen and I am not crazy about the idea.
A navel ring would make a funny bump in the modest, one piece, skirted, bathing suit you are insisting that she wear to the beach this year… No, no, no, different letter…sorry! My opinion is that children should not be given permission to mutilate their bodies with piercing and tattoos.
What is desirable at fourteen may not be wanted or appropriate at twenty-four. Everybody eighteen and under or dependent on their parents for support is still a child as far as Dear Mrs.
I work and so does my wife. We have one son who is fourteen. We don't like leaving him alone but he can't go to daycare and is too old for a sitter. He refuses to go to day camp, says he's tired of it.
He has three weeks of away camp in the Rockies coming up but my wife and I have are having a hard time coming up with what to do with him until school starts. Have you thought of taking a couple of weeks off and spending some time with him? Fourteen year olds need lots of time with their parents. If time off is not possible what about unpaid internships at your offices? Or with an adult you trust who shares an interest with your son?
Teenagers need adult attention and contact and a sense of purpose. Web, My husband has Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler magazines in our house. I recently found our twelve-year-old son with one in his room. I took it away from him. But I am not sure about how to handle this.
I really don't think they are good for him. My husband thinks I am overreacting. Not wanting your son to play "inspector" with the detailed pictures of naked women sounds pretty normal to me. Your husband is already an "inspector", though. Sounds like a clash of values to me. Since the porn is already in the house the both of you will need to decide at what age it is appropriate material for your son.
By the way, I have never met anyone whose personality or character was improved by porn. Web, Do you think my mother has the right to go through my private and personal stuff in my drawers? Let's get away from that word. This is not a constitutional issue. Your mom has a responsibility to make sure you are safe and healthy. If she is concerned about you she has the responsibility to find out truth and monitor you in any way she can.
Your stuff is yours only in the sense that she has made it possible for you to have it by paying the freight on everything else, the mortgage, the utilities, the insurance, and so on. Web, My brother is taking a lot of drugs. He moved out about a year ago but stops back to wash his clothes and hang around a couple of times a month. He works in a kitchen at a restaurant. I know he took it but I can't prove it. When I told my parents they seemed upset, but didn't really say anything to him.
I am fifteen and I haven't said anything either. The money is missing and you are right, your brother probably took it. I would tell him the money is missing and that you suspect him and are disappointed. Ask for the money back. But don't expect it back. You have paid a high price to learn that illegal drugs turn family members into strangers. Open a bank account and lock you possessions up. Tell your parents about ToughLove, an organization that can help them.
Web, I am the mother of two grown sons both in college. I have been widowed for more than 12 years. My husband, John died in a terrible industrial accident. When he died I told the boys that Dad was hit on the head and died. My sister says I should sit them down and tell them all the details.