Psychologists highlight pitfalls of online dating - CNN
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Inwhen the Internet was still in its infancy, less than 1 percent of Americans met their partners through personal ads or matchmaking services.
Single people have more options than ever before, as websites such as Match. But that may have a downside. According to a new review of online dating written by a team of psychologists from around the country, dating websites may warp a person's outlook and expectations in ways that can actually lower the chances of building a successful relationship.
It allows people access to potential partners they otherwise would not have," says Eli J. Although most dating websites feature photos and detailed, searchable profiles covering everything from personality traits to likes and dislikes, this information isn't necessarily useful in identifying a partner, Finkel and his coauthors write. That's partly because daters don't always know what they want in a mate -- even though they generally think they do.
Studies suggest that people often lack insight into what attracts them to others and whyand therefore the characteristics they seek out in an online profile may be very different from those that will create a connection in person, the review notes.
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Today, the singles community in the DC metro area comprises its own "stake," the Mormon term for a group of congregations, similar to a diocese. It has grown to roughly 5, members. Janzen is the stake president of this singles community.
In his meeting with single women this summer, he said leadership became especially concerned by unmarried Mormons about a decade ago. But he didn't say how. At the end of the conversation, he implored the women. Ranked in order of preference, they were: While the LDS church does not encourage loveless marriages, they present marriage as a choice between a church-sanctioned marriage or no marriage at all -- an attempt to dissuade singles from looking outside the faith for companionship.
Mormon doctrine is clear that temple marriage is essential to enter the highest echelons of heaven, and leadership never encourages interfaith dating or marriage. That messaging made an impact on Brown, who said he did not consider dating a non-Mormon until he was nearly 30, when he was at a low point in his life and was tempted to try secular dating apps.
Some Mormons who flirt with dating non-members live in areas with scant Mormon populations or feel they have exhausted their options at church.
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For many, Mutual brought them back to the Mormon dating fold, providing an incentive to seek a temple marriage that rhetoric alone could not. A recent convert to the church, Elle Bretherton said she faced loneliness as she adapted to a new life as a Mormon at Pepperdine. She, like Brown, dated non-Mormons. It just wasn't going to work.
Psychologists highlight pitfalls of online dating
Within weeks, she had met her future husband. Like Bretherton, Brown faced the prospect of decreased observance as he ventured outside Mormonism to date.
He says he attended church less while dating his non-Mormon girlfriend. They eventually broke up, and he was left with a sense of foreboding about the prospect of being forced out of young single adult wards when he turned 30, after which he would be expected to attend a "mid-singles ward" for Mormons ages 30 and up.
These wards are regarded as a dreaded marital purgatory. Brown is determined to avoid this fate.
He once skipped a flight home to extend a fruitless weekend scouting singles, buying a ticket on a last minute red-eye to visit a Mormon ex-girlfriend. Catching wind of his arrival, Brown said that his ex's previous boyfriend, who held a local church leadership position, came over to her house to disrupt their date.