What do ISTJs want from INFJs? | INFJ Forum
If you're dating an ISTJ you want to make sure that you have a plan when you're .. Want a comprehensive guide to the INFJ personality type?. When it comes to dating and relationships, we all want to find and how the other person can flex style to effectively communicate with you. An ISTJ ( Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) type should be on An INFJ pairing, who are often idealists, are compatible because they both are goal-oriented. The main negative to an ISTJ/INFJ relationship is that an INFJ can meet all he asked me (like a f***king interrogation style) to check whether I.
Contact Author Opposites Attract These two seemingly introverted and clean personalities might seem like a match made in heaven, but their functions are all over the map -- in fact they are opposites in a lot of ways.
They get along even though they are different parts of reality altogether. Why might these two seemingly different personalities get along and take up a large portion of MBTI boards? What do you think of this pairing? INFJ is already a firecracker of ideas, emotions, and innovation.
It helps to have someone who is more grounded, and also more common. These are the qualities these personalities are seeking. They both kind of suck in these departments, whether they own up to it or not. They tend to be loyal, good with money, and have high standards and ambitions for themselves.
There is also a large variety in this group. It leaves a lot of wiggle room for both mundane and more weird of souls. The weirder the better for an INFJ, but you don't have to do cartwheels and firework tricks to intrigue them.
INFJ is a relationship seeker, and they want someone who is loyal and committed. ISTJ wants to be pulled out of their simplicity and into something more -- but they don't exactly like making the effort.
- What do you think of this pairing?
- Opposites Attract
Information Gatherers This pairing is good if one person needs someone up in the air and the other needs someone who is grounded. There may be some confusion as to how their partner makes their conclusions, but both are information seeking personalities.
They like to gather information before acting, even if one prefers to look at patterns and the other prefers using their five senses. It's going to be easier for the intuitive personality to understand the sensing personality.
Learning and integrating pattern making is not a skill set that's easy to master, especially if it isn't already in your stack of cards. An extroverted personality can sometimes be better at initiating and discussing life's problems, etc. Introverts tend to linger in their thoughts and introspection. The bonus here is that you have someone that's roughly on the same page, and most likely won't wear you out with their charisma. Introverts love having extroverts around, and though the INFJ is a low-to-mild introvert, they do have a deep love of privacy and figuring things out their own way.
INFJ personalities really want to share some of their off the wall observations, whether about flying unicorns saving Russia or how Stephen Hawking is wrong about basketball -- the INFJ needs to have these conversations. If you were to cut them short, or tell the INFJ you're not interested in these narratives, the INFJ may cut their loses and move on to find someone who appreciates them for their weird and charming behavior.
Otherwise you have an INFJ who is sulking behind your back because they can't fully express themselves, and that secondary extroverted feeling function demands that they -- let out their wacky side. They're okay with a few messes here and there, but it is hard for them to sustain a long term relationship with someone who can't handle their own garbage.
They'll start to get disgusted, annoyed, distracted, and offended. The INFJ needs someone who is balanced -- not too messy and not too clean. They'll think something is wrong with you psychologically if you constantly are fidgeting away with all the cleaning supplies.
Sexually, the ISTJ is likely to approach intimacy from a physical perspective, rather than as a means of expressing love and affection. They usually have a problem expressing their deepest feelings, even though they may be very strongly felt.
They will expect sex on a relatively scheduled basis, and are likely to honor traditions regarding gender role-playing.
Male ISTJs will assert their perspective on their partners, while female ISTJs will tend to follow along with what their male counterparts want although they will be uncomfortable with anything extremely out of the traditional norm.
ISTJs do not feel threatened by constructive criticism or conflict situations. When faced with criticism, the ISTJ is likely to believe that their point of view is correct. They have a tremendous amount of respect for Facts, and base their opinions on known facts and logic. Consequently, they have a hard time seeing the viability of viewpoints which don't match their own. When the ISTJ gets involved in a disagreement over a point, they usually begin to attempt to recruit the other person over to their own point of view, fully believing that they are right, and that the other individual simply needs to understand the facts of the situation.
In such situations, the ISTJ may or may not be right, but their confidence in their own "rightness" can shake the confidence of others involved. This habit can quickly turn conversations into "win-lose" situations, and can present a special problem in intimate relationships. While they may inadvertantly shake the confidence of their colleagues with their "I'm right" approach, the same behavior may cause serious issues within their intimate relationships.
The ISTJ's constant assertion of "rightness" may send a message to their mates that they do not value their opinions. If the ISTJ has a mate with a strong Feeling preference, they may inadvertantly wreak havoc with their self-esteem, since Feeling individuals are extremely sensitive to conflict and criticism, and are especially vulnerable in their intimate relationships. Since ISTJs make decisions using the Thinking function rather than Feelingthey are not naturally likely to consider their mates feelings and emotions in daily living.
This may be a problem if their mates have the Feeling preference, since Feeling individuals usually expect a lot of positive affirmation, which the ISTJ does not naturally communicate to them.
ISTJs are generally very capable and efficient at most things which they endeavor. Consequently, their mates are likely to hold a good amount of respect for them. Daily concerns are likely to be well-provided for by the ISTJ. If other concerns, such as emotional needs, are pointed out to the ISTJ as important issues for their mates, the ISTJ will rise to the occasion and add the task of addressing these needs to the internal "list" of duties.
First month dating ISTJ guy = minimal communication | INFJ Forum
Since the ISTJ is so willing to work hard at issues, and so tireless at performing tasks which they feel should be done, the ISTJ generally makes a wonderful, caring mate who is willing and able to promote a healthy, lasting relationship which is also a partnership.
How did we arrive at this? Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Such is the greatest goal of an ISTJ parent toward their child.
The Case for an INFJ and ISTJ Romance
Along the path towards this goal, the ISTJ expects that their children honor their traditional familial roles. As parents, they demand respect and authority from their children. They willingly accept their parental role of provider and guardian. Once the ISTJ becomes a parent, it becomes a "given" that they will perform all of the duties associated with parenthood, and they will do so without grudge or burden.
However, they expect that their children give them their due respect in return, and will have little patience with disrespectful behavior. When it comes to giving punishment or discipline, the ISTJ will be able to do so when necessary without too much internal trauma.