INFJ female dating INTJ male | INFJ Forum
INTJs, on the other hand, enjoy discussing the merits of the idea itself, If you have been in an INFJ/INTJ relationship, you can probably think. Both the INTJ and INFJ can feel incredibly alone (though being alone probably that complement each other in the INFJ-INTJ relationship. As stated, I am a female INFJ in a relationship with a male INTJ. We both love being alone together. In both of our cases, life revolves in work — each other.
INFJ-INFJ Relationships & Compatibility
My boyfriend is an INTJ. So my boyfriend supposedly has similar traits to the Tesla guy and the Interstellar dude. My boyfriend is very decisive. Our relationship is full of decisions. From the onset, I was determined to let my boyfriend understand that he must not confuse his initial level of comfort around me with us sharing a much deeper connection at the start.
Maybe I was just being over cautious but I will explain below why I did not need to go through any of that with him. I believe that people often overlook any pairing of the INFJ with an introvert for fear that too much introversion in the relationship might lead to emotional incompatibility, or possibly a lack of balance in the relationship.
From my own experience, I find most extroverts to be too much to take. I like to think of myself as being a shy peacock.
INFJ-INFJ Relationships & Compatibility
Now imagine a garden full of peacocks. Now imagine another peacock who has his feathers readily on show for all to see and thrives from being surrounded by all these humans in awe. This is how I see most extroverts and I honestly would not be able to cope. Partly because I find the most extroverts actually discourage me from coming out of my shell because of how present they are; I feel as though I do not have space to be myself because they are just so.
What got my attention when I met my boyfriend was: I had not met someone who made me feel like I was looking into a mirror, but with a deeper voice, more confidence and self assurance.
I had not even considered his personality type or how compatible we may be because it all went very smoothly. From my own empirical evidence, we are very compatible, share similar values and we generally have the same approach to life.INFJ and INTJ
The INTJ boyfriend will be reading a book on one side of the room and I will be truly demolishing noobs on league of legends. I do not like big groups. He is a lot more social that I am and has different groups of friends the mind boggles.
He gets this and has always gone out of his way to make sure I am not in a situation like that, or if I have to be, that I am not there longer than necessary. When meeting his best friend, I am aware that he agave him a talking to to not freak me out. Turns out his bestie was an INFJ and we got on rather well! We take turns talking and are both really good listeners. On this front, we get on like a house on fire. I do have to nudge him every now about communication because he sometimes seems to rely on me bringing things up before he lets it rip.
Intuition-Intuition We enjoy discussing big ideas and solving the worlds troubles over dinner. We have similar views on the big things and occasionally disagree. I appreciate the viewpoint he brings to the conversation as he is very rational and everything seems to be black and white to him sometimes, which boggles my righteous, overly humanitarian mind.
We enjoy talking about the future. Him more so than me as I appear to be the risk averse one. I have attributed this to the ordinary fears of an INFJ when in any intense relationship.
We do seem to lack interest in everyday living. I cannot say that I spend that much time obsessing over the ironing or the washing. Mind you, until earlier this year, my dear boyfriend had existed on this earth without owning an iron. We are both young professionals and I suspect a large part of our desire to succeed in our careers is so that we can hire a few assistants in later life. Thinking-Feeling So this is where we start to diverge.
Me and my boyfriend are both introverted intuitive types. However, we externalise our introverted intuitive perceptions differently. The primary difference comes down to Thinking vs Feeling. For the majority of the time, our temperaments are similar. Everything can be packaged in his little Thinker head. He is one of the few people I know who can take criticism and make an action plan from it without taking offence.
I call him Action Plan Man. He tackled the problem with military precision and would completely phase out for an hour a day whilst completing the mission. He asked for my input throughout the whole process and he took all my feedback well and continued on his little mission.
In that way they have a great advantage over other types when it comes to the likelihood of success; by naturally making the relationship a priority and being willing, excited even, to talk about the health of the relationship, they position themselves ahead of other couples from the starting gate. In other words, the relationship is not likely to suffer from neglect.
INFJs are incredibly committed to their theories and ideals. If both INFJ partners see things the same way then there is no problem.
- INFJ-INFJ Relationships & Compatibility
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INFJs have a history of projecting lofty ideals onto their partners, whatever the type, ultimately resulting in their being accused of having unattainable or unreasonable standards when those ideals fail to be met. And this behavior has been the culprit behind many a failed INFJ relationship. And they expect a lot. They may fail to consistently enact their own theories or advice. In other words, if one or both of the INFJ partners is looking to the other to complete the Se piece of the equation that they lack, the relationship can and likely will fail.
This is where learning to let go of S outcomes, along with showing grace is extremely important. Both INFJs must understand that they share the same strengths, but along with that comes the same weaknesses.
They cannot expect their partner to pick up where they fail. This may cover everything from finances and budgeting to other pragmatic concerns like remembering to have the car serviced or bills paid on time.