North Point Live
Perspectives in Dating the “Next” Time Around Elizabeth B. Lewis from the great sermons series of Andy Stanley, “The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating,” is. The pastor of one America's largest churches is peeling back the covers on topics that might make some Christians squirm. Andy Stanley. LOVE SEX DATING: Gentlemen's Club. Speaker: Andy Stanley Series: The New Rules of LOVE SEX & DATING LOVE SEX & DATING: Sex isn't just Sex.
Consequently you are more responsible.
Here is how you need to view women according to the bible. In our society and culture, women are viewed, presented, talked about and sung about like a commodity. A commodity is something you use and trade up. The message we get in our society about women is take me, use me, do what you want to with me, and then discard me.
You will think a lot of this is old fashioned. There is some truth to that. When these ideas were first introduced they were strange. Even more strange in the first century.
You had slaves, and female slaves were used any way they wanted. The value of lives of females were worthless in the first few centuries. When they got old they would adopt males to give their estate to. Women had no status. In roman culture you could have one wife, but men had many many mistresses.
Into this world, Jesus spoke and Peter spoke, and Paul spoke — What they had to say about women was staggering, show stopping. Women began to flock to these churches because they were treated a different way. We need to get back and re-embrace how god regarded women. A new command was given — John By this, the rest of the world will know that you are my follower. This was in a world where might made right.
Men you are to use your power for the sake of those who lack power. Leverage that power for the weak. If you are a married man, make sure you use your power for her sake. The women in your life, they answer to the same god you do.
God sent his son to die for women as well as men. Men, renew your mind to think differently. Clean out your playlist. Anything that degrades women called bitches and whores needs to be removed. Labels should not exist in our culture because you treat people differently once you label them. A culture that is comfortable talking about women this way, is a culture of a lesser value. A superior culture will respect and honor woman as equals with men.
Erotic imagery, or porn — big no-no. I thought everyone knew this — that people know not to look at this. Everytime you look at these photos you are at school. In this school you are learning three things: This school sets you up for extraordinary disappointment. Go back a few decades. This is a pathway that leads men to view women as a commodity. If you are a christian man you have to step up and see women with honor and as equals.
Your savior died for her too.
The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: The Right Person Myth [sermon] on Vimeo
Research shows erotic imagery is a drug. It deadens your desire for real women. You think your wife will meet your needs that these photos filled. Now your wife has to compete with this. It ruins so many marriages. If you think you are not going to do anything about this in your life you need to be honest with any future woman or one in your life now and let her know that she will never fulfill you.
You take all of that with you into the relationship. You need to let her know about this so she can decide if she wants to go into the relationship with all these other women. Make up your mind to behave differently.
Treat women with honor. Last piece of advice. Not many people take it but the ones that do, this is what makes a difference. One year challenge to not date. Take a year off of every kind of male female relationship. In that year, three months in, you will meet the woman of your dreams. You spend the rest of that year renewing your mind. Get rid of media, clean out playlists, its been so long since you thought of a women with honor. Learn to overcome the urge to watch the woman that walks by.
It will take a year to change. In a year you will be a different person. In a year you will have taken a giant step in becoming the person you are looking for is looking for.
You will have put away the ways of childhood. You will have finally grown up. Part 3 — Designer Sex Culture convinces us — and sometimes we convince ourselves — that sex is only physical. But if that is true, why is the pain of sexual sin so deep? Because sex is not just physical. It was designed by God to be so much more. In this message, Andy addresses common myths about sex outside of marriage and has two specific challenges going forward. If you treat sex as if its just physical you hurt yourself, and if you get married, you hurt your partner.
Regardless of your religious beliefs, this is what brings it home. Your sexuality is connected with your personality and your spirituality. Why is it that when a child is sexually abused that when they are adult, why is it so difficult to shake that off?
Why does it follow them around their entire life? Kids are betrayed all the time by adults. Why is rape so much more devastating than being beat up? If sex is just physical, then rape is just like being beat up. You report it, and move on. Why is that men with the deepest sexual issues usually have uninvolved or missing fathers? Intimacy is to know and be fully known. Sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality.
All other sins people commit are outside their bodies but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies.
The New Rules For Love, Sex & Dating (DVD)
Here is what Paul is saying. When you sin sexually you hurt yourself. Not only do you hurt yourself, but at the deepest level imaginable. It will carry with you throughout your entire life. Sexuality is so powerful if you break the rules it has the same power to turn your life upside down.
For it is said for the two will become one flesh. Sex is not just a matter of personal preference.
Sex is a matter of divine design. You think because you practice you will be better at sex? You can win a contest because you are so good? Married advice — look stupid! Romance in marriage is fueled by a sense of exclusivity. You will have a more romantic and passionate marriage if you have been exclusive before marriage.
If they were exclusive before you, they will be exclusive while they are with you, no matter where they are. Determine the story you want to tell. When you meet the person you are looking for you will have a story to tell. Make sure when you meet the person you are looking for, make sure the story you have to tell is the truth and is the story you want to tell.
And the day you start living this story, you will be able to tell your future spouse that from that day I prepared for you and reserved myself for you. That is a good story. Decide ahead of time what honoring god with your body looks like.
Look at what you got and decide what you want to do with it. You need a sexual budget. Decide what you will not do and do. If you make those decisions, temptations will not overtake you. Soak up the wisdom it contains as you articulate your own explanations for the timeless beauty of celibacy in singleness and faithfulness in heterosexual marriage.
Its pages contain sermons—adapted to be sure, but sermons nonetheless—from one of the most effective communicators of our day. If you want to learn how to write in a way that will preach, study this book closely.
Tag: Andy Stanley
In short, read it once for content. Then read it again for style. Content Andy Stanley writes and preaches in the same way that Jerry Seinfeld does comedy: For example, he recommends that parents stop having an awkward fifteen minute talk with their children about sex and instead have a fifteen year conversation. Instead, he reminds us that sex early in a relationship masks relational issues that will no doubt surface later. In the middle of a confused culture and a bewildered church, that is a message which we need to be modeling, teaching, and preaching over and over.
Prophetically, he calls the church to faithfulness to its ancient roots. Pastorally, he invites people into a regret-free life. HOW he says it.